The Republic of Pineapple Belongs on Pizza 59 is a colossal, safe nation, notable for its state-planned economy, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical population of 5.894 billion Pineapple Belongs on Pizza 59ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 40.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Pineapple Belongs on Pizza 59ian economy, worth 59.4 trillion pesos a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Trout Farming, Basket Weaving, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 10,084 pesos, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pineapple Belongs on Pizza 59's national animal is the penguin.

Pineapple Belongs on Pizza 59 is ranked 147,989^th in the world and 3,205^th in the South Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 9.37 flags saluted per person per day.